Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, issue 2 - "The Balance of Power"

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Tony

"The Balance of Power" picks up right where "The End... The Beginning!" leaves off, but unlike the first issue, the second deviates almost completely from the cartoon.

The wizard Merklynn sends the successful Knights of his quest back to the foot of Iron Mountain and leaves them with this...

"One final word brave knights! With the powers you now possess, you can either rebuild this wondrous world - or DESTROY IT ALL! The fate of Prysmos is in your hands!"

The warriors are confused. What are these "powers" that they possess? And what of those warriors without staffs? Confusion leads to anger which inevitably spills over into a battle between the two loosely affiliated groups. As the fight rages, something strange begins to happen. The warriors who posses staffs begin to hear a voice, like a whisper, in their head. The words it speaks are a spell that unleashes a power within them. One by one, they begin to discover just what it is Merklynn has given them.

The battle escalates. It's a free-for-all of destruction and chaos. And then a voice rises above the calamity. It's Leoric. He makes a plea for the warriors to unite and use their new powers to rebuild their world. Some of them scoff at this and Darkstorm seizes this opportunity to rally them to his cause. In the end, the knights choose their sides with neither group having a clear-cut tactical advantage. Both agree to go their separate ways. For now.

Leoric takes his knights to his stronghold in New Valarak, where they thoughtfully debate a plan of action. In the end, they agree on one thing: to unite as one against the forces of evil. Meanwhile, back at Darkstorm's lair, he and his newly minted Darkling Lords have a less... civil discussion.

A caste system quickly develops between those who posses a staff of power and those who don't. The sniveling Mortdred and the bitter Reekon are made errand boys, sent to a local community to have Darkstorm's armor repaired. There they meet Harkon, a renowned blacksmith who had been a brilliant engineer and scientist during the Age of Technology. While Harkon repairs Darkstorm's armor, Reekon discovers something hidden under a tarp. It's a project of Harkon's from before the Age of Magic rendered all technology useless: a flying vehicle with immense firepower that he calls a Sky Claw. Mortdred muses about getting back into Darkstorm's good graces by presenting him with this flying machine, a secret weapon that he can use to crush Leoric and his meddlesome knights. And then...

The Sky Claw whirs to life! Reekon feels the transfer of energy from his hand to the machine, and when Mortdred touches it, the symbol on his chest plate instantly appears on the wing. They have discovered their power. They have the ability to power this vehicle and, presumably, any electronic device from days gone by. They present this to Darkstorm and a feast is held to celebrate their new advantage. This naturally leads to a discussion on how best to use this new power and that leads to a mêlée amongst the Lords. When the dust settles, Darkstorm blames Mortdred for the scuffle and sends him from his sight. Mortdred, seeking to once again regain his master's favor, steals the Sky Claw and sets off for New Valarak. Initially intending only to spy on the enemy, Mortdred is overcome with a desire to do more, to prove his worth by destroying Leoric and his knights.

Leoric's men are roused from their sleep and a battle ensues. The Knights are horrified by this terrible new weapon, but fight back bravely. Eventually, a new power is roused, this time inside the knight Arzon. It is the power of Knowledge and with it he is able to deduce that there is a weakness to the Sky Claw. He tells his fellow Knight, Feryl, to hit the underside of the craft dead center. This causes it to spin out of control and crash. But then the Darkling Lords arrive.

Having found Mortdred and the Sky Claw missing, Darkstorm and his warriors knew they'd find him in New Valarak. The two forces battle. Meanwhile, the Sky Claw begins to repair - no, to heal itself, almost as if it's alive. Mortdred rejoins the battle and is about to blast Leoric, only to be waylaid by Arzon. The Sky Claw is sent spinning and the blast destroys Darkstorm's chariot instead, injuring the Lord in the process. The tide has turned and the Darkling Lords are forced to beat a hasty retreat, leaving the Sky Claw in the hands of Leoric and his Knights. Back at Darkstorm's lair, Mortdred is thrown into the dungeon until his master can decide what to do with him.

As I mentioned in the beginning, this issue doesn't follow the storyline of the cartoon. The only thing(s) the second issue and the second episode have in common is that Mortdred and Reekon's ability to power electronic devices is revealed and the Sky Claw is introduced.

As a consequence of this original take, one of the first things I noticed is that Flint Dille's trademark humor, more or less retained in the first issue, is largely gone here. The second issue has a more serious, straightforward tone to it. It's very well written, but the tonal change is a bit jarring at first.

One thing that hasn't changed is that it still embraces a more complex morality than most other properties of the era, such as when the still unnamed Spectral Knights have a genuine debate on how best to use their powers and deal with Darkstorm.

"Don't get carried away by anger, Ectar. Remember what Merklynn said - We're supposed to use our magic to rebuild the world, not fight a war."

"Maybe we'll have to fight the war first, Arzon."

Not exactly earth-shattering stuff, mind, but again, considering the era, it's refreshing to see two good guys disagree on a course of action without some coda reprimanding the one who was "wrong". In the real world, good people disagree. It happens every day. In fact, I'd say they disagree far more often than evildoers.

Overall, "The Balance of Power" is a less generically entertaining but more intelligent second chapter than its corresponding episode in the cartoon series. I'm looking forward to the next issue.

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Noel

We're at the point where the comics and the cartoon are two fully separate continuities with different takes on the same idea that will likely continue to divide as they go on. Any fan of Transformers and G.I. Joe will already be prepared for this, but for those of you who have been following along with us: forget the tv series. From here on out, the comic will be its own universe with the characters and world and magical rules working in their own way.

Let's take the power staffs. In the cartoon, they unleashed a magical being for one shot before they needed to be dragged up to Iron Mountain and dipped in Merklynn's pool for a recharge. Here, they not only recharge themselves after a short time, but there is no magical being, the powers they represent instead being cast through the knight wielding them. Lexor's Invulnerability spell coats his armor with an unbreakable skin. Arzon's Knowledge spell instantly fills his head with perfect recollection of everything he's ever known throughout his life. Cindarr's Destruction spell tears the ground with an earthquake. I kinda miss the kooky figures that would pop out of the Staffs when summoned, but I like this shorthand of simply having the powers channelled through the wielder. And while having to trek up to Merklynn's place for a recharge was a clever twist, it's not essential.

As Tony pointed out, I love how the Darkling Lords are quick to look down on those who don't wield staffs, and the motivation this gives to Reekon and Mortdredd to prove themselves. The Sky Claw is nicely used here, going from a piece of junk in the back of a smith's shop to a wondrous sight as it takes to the air and reminds everyone of the era they've lost. I like that we get an explanation of how the holograms on the craft are tied to the user and how the Spectral Knights are still able to take it down through skill and strategy. But I do have one issue: how is Darkstorm able to pilot it? Unlocking the vehicle is Mortdredd's magical skill and it's imbued with his power, so how is Darkstorm able to take the controls and go off for a fly on his own? It's kind of pointless to give someone a special ability that anyone else can use.

I also love the conflicted ethics and motives Tony mentioned. The Knights arguing about waiting for Darkstorm to attack or making the first move. The Lords pulling together even as they break into fights and plot behind each other's backs. And I love the recurring theme of "That's not fair!", first expressed by the smith who built the Sky Claw when he's stunned to learn he's not able to fly his own creation, then again by Mortdredd when he's tossed in a dungeon for a week for trying to impress his master. It's good stuff.

And, yeah, the tone is definitely different. The tv series was almost as much a parody of medieval knight ballads as they were a modern tribute to them, but the comic is becoming much more of a straight-forward high fantasy. There's nothing wrong with that different approach, though. The characters are rich and (mostly) distinct. The central clash between freedom and dominance is played to the hilt. The magic adds to the characters and world instead of overwhelming it or making it silly. It's with this issue that Jim Salicrup handed the scripting reigns over to Gerry Conway, who's a legendary writer in the industry for a good reason. Trust me, we're in great hands with him.

A few small notes:

• I'm impressed they didn't fall back on the ages old cliche of having the two female knights always squaring off against one another. Here, they hold their own against the males.
• I'm surprise how little use they've made of the animal totems. I know there's only so many pages to play in, but I only counted for shifts, and each ended rather quickly.
• In the show, Leoric would be blundering head-first into whatever fray he could find. I love the calmer, wiser version we have here. There's a great bit where the Knights and Lords break out into their free-for-all brawl in the opening scene, and he's just standing on a hill top, scowling down as the senseless conflict.
• Mortdredd continues to be the most entertaining character in this franchise.

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Tune in next Saturday Morning for another Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light adventure in "The Star Stone".

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, issue 1 - "The End... The Beginning!"

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Noel

We open on the flourishing, technological utopian city of New Valarak on the alien world of Prysmos, where the people are soft and pampered due to their robot servants doing all the heavy lifting. Into a posh restaurant, overlooking the city from the cliffside on which it hangs, walks the wizard Merklynn, who knows of the approaching conjunction of the three suns and wants to witness the effects it will have. Sure enough, in a flash of light, all electronics go dead and Merklynn declares a new era of magic has begun as people scream and die and New Valarak is awash in flames.

As was common for many comic tie ins of the era, this debut issue is a loose adaptation of the pilot episode penned by Flint Dille. Writer Jim Salicrup plays a bit loose with his adaptation, but it follows the major plot beats as they originally played out. After several years (it's unspecified how many, but presumably a decade or less), the world has entered a new medieval dark age. Leoric, once Mayor of New Valarak, is now its King and has done his best to guide the city to peace and prosperity. But the outer lands are run by Darkstorm, who rules through the "tough decisions" of enslavement and pillagery. To both, and every other person in the region decked in the armor of a knight, appears the glowing face of Merklynn, inviting all who desire magical powers to enter his citadel on Iron Mountain where their worth will be tested.

Let's pause for a moment and go over our characters. Leoric and Darkstorm are largely unchanged, and I like the focus on their opposing views on how best to manage a struggling world. Leoric's main lieutenants Ectar and Feryll also don't stray from the pilot episode, where they were equally indistinct. Mortdredd is as big a kissass as always. Witterquick, Galadria, Arzon, and Virulina are also the same, though I like the addition of the fact that Virulina stinks from bad hygiene (though, realistically, who in this dark age wouldn't?).

Reekon and Cravex seem to have swapped places. Reekon still only works for money, but he's more a hired warrior than a thief and Cravex has lost his berserker rage as he sneaks around corners and takes people out when they aren't looking. Cryotek isn't all that different, but he apparently now has an old rivalry with Cindarr, who's lost his dim-witted innocence and is now a common thug. Lexor is still a coward, but I love that he's unaffiliated with either side and just manages to bungle into getting powers because he keeps running away in the right direction.

The traps and tests in Merklynn's shrine are a little different, but largely play out as they did on the show. Witterquick runs fast. Ectar uses a leaf as a hang glider. There's a giant scary gargoyle that's frightened off when Leoric charges it because it isn't used to being attacked. Galadria and Virulina have their fight in the water, complete with octopus. Darkstorm recruits his evil knights by trapping them. And there's a free-for-all brawl before Merklynn shows up and gives his magic to everyone who's left.

It's a good adaptation, and I applaud Marvel for the extended 38-page length because nothing feels compressed or rushed. In fact, with scenes like Merklynn in the opening, they actually get to expand on the material in little ways. I can't say most of the characters are particularly distinct, especially since most of them are hidden behind those clunky helmets, so I'm not sure how well it would work for a newcomer unfamiliar with the tv show. Even I got a little lost at times when dozens of knights are running around before they're thinned down to the lead 14. It's not bad, though, giving each character their moment to shine. There's even a great bit with a trio of knights concocting a plan to form a League of Justice, combining "my knowledge of weapons with your detective skills", before Cravex drops a beehive on them and they run away, never to be seen again.

I am impressed that the writing didn't forget to include the humor of the tv show. It's a little clunky and doesn't have the sharp satirical edge of Dille's writing, but it still works. The knights bicker, traps are often as comical as they are threatening (a cave literally swallows knights up, then spits them out with a burp), and there's the occasional great line like "What's your problem[, Mortdredd]? Did Darkstorm get mad at you for rusting his boots with your tongue?"

The art by Mark Bagley and Romeo Tanghall is also a delight. There were some moments where I was lost on who was behind what suit of armor or a face got a little wonky, but their work is very rich and flowing. The armor always has weight and keeps to the design, the action is dynamic and the humor playful, and they're just as good with moments of a dozen knights rolling around in a scuffle as they are grandiose uses of cosmic magical forces. There's two moments in this issue that are absolutely stunning: the two page spread of New Valarak in flames, and our Knights entering Merklynn's chamber and encounter a swirling cloud of the animal spirits destined to become their totems.

This book is a solid piece of work. It's not perfect, with an overly large cast still struggling to give everyone distinction, and a few rough bits here and there, but it's rousing, it's exciting, it's filled with big ideas and personal conflicts. I was instantly captivated by the first episode of the tv series, and the first issue of the comic thankfully doesn't fail to do the same.

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Tony

Noel has done such an excellent job of outlining the issue that I feel an urge to take you through the various ads instead - like the one with a little boy who is basking in the admiration of a group of girls because of his model car building skills - but I won't. Instead, I'll give you a little context.

Our first issue is dated November of 1987, a year that was a defining moment in my life. It wasn't the year I kissed my first girl (that was 1986). It wasn't the year I got my first pubes (I'm still waiting on those). It was the year I turned thirteen and the last year I got toys for Christmas. I say this because it represented the end of my childhood as defined by toys, cartoons, and comic books, and the start of my adolescence. It was a year when things began to get complicated. Old friends became former friends, replaced by former strangers who became constant companions. The homework got harder, the social pressures increased, and hard choices loomed ahead. Look, it wasn't all gloom and doom and I can truthfully say that I enjoyed my teen years, but life is never quite as pure as those days of imagination when you're twelve years old. Damn, I miss them sometimes. But that's the great thing about an old comic book: it's like a portal to that moment in time. And speaking of which... Sherman? Set the WABAC machine for 1987.

"Go now! Return to your city! Your only hope for survival is to create a brave new world out of the old! I have other matters to attend... Fear not! For Merklynn shall return!"

FZZAPP!

"Anyone know a good restaurant near here?"

The thing I enjoyed most about this first issue was how it went beyond what the first episode - or even the series as a whole - was able to show us. You expect that from a novelization, but not necessarily from a comic adaptation. The Age of Science was only briefly touched on in the cartoon and never anything more than a set-up for the premise. Here, we get to see that it was really a reflection of the state of humanity in the late 20th century. Were technology and convenience making us soft? Were we losing our primal edge? I couldn't help but think of these lyrics from the song Mr. Roboto as I was reading:

The problem's plain to see:
Too much technology.
Machines to save our lives.
Machines dehumanize.

Yes, I know the song is corny, but it hits upon the kinds of questions we were asking and the doubts we had as the New Millennium loomed.

The other aspect that made reading this so worthwhile was that it strengthened the bonds formed between the Knights on both sides. I don't know that there was more focus on it, but there's something inherently more intimate about reading than simply watching. I could feel the growing camaraderie between the as yet unnamed Spectral Knights and the tangled yet tenuous bonds of the Darkling Lords. I felt a connection to the journey that was missing in the first episode.

As Noel said, it does get hard to keep track of characters at times. Even as the roster of would-be Knights gets whittled down, I still had difficulty keeping track of who was who. For instance, both female Knights are inexplicably clad in purple and silver, and in one scene, Cindarr and Cryotek square off, each wielding an identical sword and both clad in blue and red armor. That's like having a movie where Michael Madsen fights Tom Sizemore. Granted, these are more a problem of concept than the execution of the artists, but the Knights should've been designed to each have bold, distinct armor. And maybe throw in a black guy or two while you're at it. Just don't match them against one another or you get that whole Michael Clarke Duncan/Ving Rhames thing and we're right back where we started.

And, as in the cartoon, the character's personalities are still just as interchangeable. Especially the good guys. While each villain has his or her own little section of character turf to occupy, the good guys, for the most part, are all pretty much the same. When faced with conflict, the villains stop to ponder how it will affect them. They scheme. They plot. They double-cross. When the good guys face a challenge, they draw swords and charge headlong, yelling "Justice! Honor! Courage! Eat your vegetables!"

Issue one gets us off to a good start. It's fast paced without ever feeling rushed and it takes big themes and boils them down without losing the nutrients.

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Tune in next Saturday Morning for another Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light adventure in "The Balance of Power".

Bonus Review: The Dragon Strike Video

There's been a slight delay in us getting our hands on every issue of the Visionaries comic, so we're taking a break this week and are instead treating you to a tasty little gem written and directed by none other than Flint Dille, the mad genius behind our Knights of the Magical Light.

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Noel

"Now, don't forget, a great Dragon Master isn't afraid to ham it up. Sure, the monsters just want to beat the heroes up, but it's a lot more fun when they do it with style."

In the late 80s, Flint Dille found himself canned from Transformers and at the head of the quickly cancelled Visionaries and Inhumanoids (the latter of which we'll be covering next year), he started to back out of tv animation and put more focus into his work at TSR, where he'd been writing interactive game books and the occasional novel. As the 80s came to a close, the company best known for Dungeons & Dragons tried branching out into new realms, including a wide attempt to relaunch Buck Rogers, or their interactive audio adventure, Terror T.R.A.X.. Dille was involved with both, but the grand poobah of his time there was 1993's Dragon Strike, a board game designed as an easy way in for those new to table-top role playing. I've never played the game and can't attest to its success or failure, nor do I know what his level of involvement was with the game itself, but I have seen the half-hour introductory video Dille put together, and boy is it something.

The main thrust of the story is that the dark lord Teraptus has gotten his hands on a Sunstone, which he uses to coat the land in eternal night. This information is delivered to the spoiled King Halvor II by a dying Wizard, and the King half-heartedly assembles a fellowship of adventurers who just happen to already be present when his throne room comes under attack by Teraptus' undead legion. You've got the boasting knuckleheaded giant of a Warrior played by Malibu from American Gladiator, a skimpily clad Thief who's after treasure whenever she isn't cracking things with her whip, an overly dramatic Elf who's shown to be ancient by his powdered grey wig (and he's an archer, no surprise), and the Wizard, who was healed by a Cleric, who won't be tagging along with the crew should they be near death again.

They head off to Teraptus' castle, battling trees and their own internal bickering. Once they reach their destination, they have to fend off against a really bad CGI dragon before scaling the walls. Inside, they encounter an Owl-Bear (literally a talking bear with a giant owl head) who's griping to an Owl-Owl about how much his job sucks, a pair of Orcs that bellow with laughter as they give each other noogies, a blind minotaur, and a surprisingly badass Man-Scorpion. They eventually free the captured Dwarf who built the Sunstone and, with his help, take on Teraptus and his dreaded Fire Elemental (a ballet dancer rotoscoped to look like fire).

The most distinctive aspect of this short is the way in which it's shot, using live actors against green screen in front of fully digital background. It sorta works and sorta doesn't, looking like a middle ground between the old Chroma Key effects of Land of the Lost and more modern efforts like Sanctuary and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It looks crude, but it's consistent, and thus really works for me in terms of capturing an exaggerated fantasy world. Mixed with the overly clean costumes, it actually looks like figurines coming to life and wandering around a three dimensional board game. On the other hand, you get some really cheap looking rubber masks, flatly animated splashes of gore, CGI that was probably dated even for the time, and the ridiculous coyote pelt on the Wizard's head. But then there's the Man-Scorpion, which was a surprisingly effective mix of techniques. From the waist up, he's a snarling live actor in red body paint with little horns around his face. From the waist down, he's the CGI body of a scorpion. It blends together beautifully.

The feature I loved even more was the same tongue-in-cheek sense of humor Dille used to give Visionaries it's warmth and distinction. Our fellowship is constantly at each other's throats throughout their trek, only coming together at the last minute. The Warrior praises the King because the King is King and keeps everyone marching forward with a sword thwacked across their bottoms. The Thief is told to distract a guard by flattering him, so she shouts "Hey, handsome!", then lashes her whip around his neck and yanks him off a tower wall to his death. The Elf is constantly crouched in overly dramatic battle poses and always senses danger on the air just before it pops up behind him and still catches him by surprise. The Wizard... well, I've already mentioned the Coyote pelt on his head, but we also get his spells constantly misfiring and a great bit where he devises a plan to split up, only to turn around and realize the others have already gone their separate ways.

Now, as with the occasional episode of Visionaries, there are times where the humor hops over that line of going too far, to the point where it becomes forced camp. The pompous King and Queen gloating over their riches and opulent feast, even after most of their court has been slaughtered (though I do like his speedy trap door exit). The Dwarf's entire shtick is to shout a constant stream of insults at the top of his lungs until the others get around to doing what he wants them to do. Then there's the goofball creatures of Teraptus' castle, yuk yukking their way along with a level of ineptitude that calls their master's evil power into question, the worst of which is the Owl-Bear. Seriously, the Owl-Bear.

Oh, and we haven't even gotten to the Dragon Master yet. This short is introduced, narrated, and occasionally annotated by voice actor John Boyle, who, in his black turtleneck against a dark background, is essentially a floating head and hands guiding unseen players through the rules and mechanics of the game. At times, he captures the ethereal power of fantasy storytelling. At others, he's glaring and barking at us in ridiculous speeches about imagination, teamwork, and doing things at perilous risks.

In the end, this is definitely one of the strangest viewing experiences you'll ever witness. There's some bits where they admirably rise above their limited means through sincere innovation and imagination, and others where they come crashing down, either through budgetary restrictions or bad choices in terms of writing, acting, and visualizations.

Seriously, the Owl-Bear.

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Tony

"Congratulations. You've just infiltrated your first castle."

Friends, I don't have to read about the 80s and early 90s in some history book. I was there. I lived it. I drank New Coke. Saw Howard the Duck at the theater. I actually owned a Milli Vanilli cassette tape. And I was a witness and participant to the unholy marriage of board game and VCR.

There were VCR board games like the Clue VCR Mystery Game that ditched that outdated notion of using your imagination and let hammy actors do the heavy lifting for you. And game systems like Action Max and the toy line Captain Power that tried to turn your TV and VCR into a first person shooter with mixed results. The video for Dragon Strike is more of a how-to for a board game that seems designed primarily as D&D for beginners. They were all attempts to capitalize on the home video boom that happened when nearly every household in America - and, likely, the Western world - owned at least one VCR.

Having played some D&D in my time, I can say with some authority that the campaign presented in Dragon Strike is the worst ever. Worse than any episode of the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon series. Worse than that time you let your Uncle Ned DM for you. Worse even than one of those churchified versions of AD&D that popped up in the early 80s as an evangelical counter to the "Satanic" influences of the original.

"Okay, Tommy. Do a saving roll against your impure thoughts for the minotaur."

No real D&D player would be caught dead playing Dragon Strike, but I can see how it could've been a gateway to the real thing for 12-14 year olds. In theory, anyway.

As for the video, Noel did an excellent job describing what it is. The disembodied head. The crude effects (except for the aforementioned Man-Scorpion, which is actually rendered better than the similar Rock/Scorpion in The Mummy Returns). The cheesy keyboard music. Dragon Strike is well intended, but ambitious beyond its means. What holds it all together is Dille's trademark humor and the conviction of the actors, shitty though they may be.

Owl-Bear says "It's a hoot! Grrr!"

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light - The Action Figures

Once upon a time, basing a cartoon series on a toy line was a no-no. But in the early 80s, President Reagan effectively deregulated children's television and it ushered in a new era: the age of the toy based cartoon.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is generally recognized as the first property to benefit from the relaxed rules. In a bold move, toy company Mattel and Filmation studios, under the leadership of co-founder Lou Scheimer, created sixty five episodes of an animated series based on Mattel's new toy line and sold it into barter syndication. The result was an explosion that saw both the toy line and the animated series flourish. By 1984, the franchise had reached a peak annual revenue of (cue Dr. Evil) $400 million dollars. That kind of success is going to draw imitators, and it wasn't long before everyone was getting in on the act.

Fast forward to 1987. Toy maker Hasbro and animation studio Sunbow had copied the Mattel/Filmation formula and achieved similar success with their G.I. Joe and Transformers cross-promotions. One of their later projects was Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light. As we know, the cartoon only ran for thirteen episodes, but what about the toy line? Well, it was similarly short-lived and under-appreciated.

The first and only series consisted of twelve figures, eight sold individually and four that came with their matching vehicle. No playsets or other accessories were made. The solo figures were Leoric, Arzon, Cryotek, Witterquick, Darkstorm, Cravex, Lexor, and Cindarr. Four good guys, four bad guys. The vehicles and drivers were Lancer Cycle with Ectar, Sky Claw with Mortdred, Capture Chariot with Feryl, and Dagger Assault with Reekon. Two good guys, two bad guys. Balance.

Note the lack of the two female characters, Spectral Knight Galadria and Darkling Lord Virulina, and, most peculiar, the Wizard Merklynn. Most toy companies at the time were skeptical that female characters would be appealing in a line marketed to, and consisting mostly of, boys. Ironically, it's the female characters that are often the most sought after and command the highest dollar in 80s toy lines in today's collector's market.

The figures were about 4 1/2", a little larger than Hasbro's G.I. Joes, but had the same level of articulation and bore an excellent likeness to their animated counterparts. Each figure came with its own weapon, powerstaff, and an animal totem in the form of the line's most noteworthy feature: a removable chest hologram. It was that hologram, in fact, that helped lead to the line's demise. Though the animated series had ended, a second run of figures was still being developed. Ultimately, it was decided that the hologram feature was too expense to produce and the toy line was cancelled as well.

The vehicles weren't as detailed as Hasbro's G.I. Joe line, but then again, the designs on the show weren't very intricate, either. Like the figures, the vehicles perfectly captured the look of their animated counterparts and featured large, eye-catching holograms of their own as well as "action features" that added to their playability.

As I mentioned, a second series was planned before the plug was pulled. It's unclear how far along Hasbro got in the process, but it was rumored that eighteen figures were to be produced, including the six Sun Imps from the final episode, as well as a large playset.

My research turned up precious little else in terms of Visionaries merchandise, other than the short-lived comic book series which we'll review in the coming weeks. I did find a plastic lunchbox on eBay going for a modest $14.99. If anyone knows of anything else I may have missed, please contact us and let us know, and we'll update this review.

Like the cartoon, the Visionaries toy line is seemingly buried beneath its more successful contemporaries. eBay auctions show little activity and prices are generally low, though complete figures are hard to find outside of eBay store auctions and there were no vehicles listed. It's a shame, too, because though short-lived, Hasbro's Visionaries line captured the spirit of the show and its characters as well as any of its better known contemporaries.

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Tune in next Saturday Morning for the first Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light comic book adventure, "The End... The Beginning".

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, episode 13 - "Dawn of the Sun Imps"

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Noel

Here we are, friends. The last episode of Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light. As is true for the entire series, it's not quite what you'd expect.

When a pair of Lords chase a pair of Knights through the desert in yet another of their constant battles, they all come across the exposed seal of a long buried tomb and set aside their conflict to take a closer look. The Lords want to break in and plunder whatever treasure they find. The Knights are more interested in the archaeological importance of the find, and when they discover an inscription warning intruders of a curse, they convince the others to hold off for the moment.

All of the Knights and Lords gather on Iron Mountain and learn from Merklynn that the buried temple imprisons the Sun Imps, mischievous creatures of magic who were long ago locked away from the suns that give them power. He promises to reward both sides greatly if they team up to bury the temple once more. They do, and the two teams mostly set their differences aside as they set about their work, until Lexor, believing this is another of Merklynn's manipulating lies, tricks Cindarr into unleashing his Destruction spell, which of course cracks the tomb open.

What emerges are an eclectic mix of golden action-figure sized beings that quickly unleash their relentless assault of magical trickery on the group, until the sun goes down and they turn into insects and small lizards, scampering into shadows and cracks where they can't be found. Everyone returns home, hoping this is the last they'll ever see of the imps.

The next day, things go to hell.

Abraxas, the Wizard Imp, shows up on Iron Mountain and uses his ability to deflect spells cast against him to imprison Merklynn, relieve him of his orb, and playfully turn him into fruit and creatures, then cause him to breakdance on his nose.

In Darkstorm's city, Shaggy, the Hair Imp, causes long locks to spring from Darkstorm's head, hands, and feet, and dances him about as a puppet. Darkstorm is forced to stand at his window and watch as Knigthmare, the hypnotic Dream Imp, tricks Mortdredd into distributing the castle's treasury to the enslaved populace.

In New Valarak, Gorge, Growl, and Mysto - respectively, the Pig, Cat, and Fish Imps - use their control over their animal types to unleash mayhem, culminating when Growl even manages to take over Leoric in his lion form.

Again, the sun goes down, and the Imps scamper away into darkness as they await the next day's mischief. The Lords and the Knights once again meet at Iron Mountain. They need to work out a way to trap each of the Imps in darkness until they can be sealed away together. What follows is a bit unexpected.

• Leoric lures Growl to Cindarr, who reveals he's been training the dog-like Destruction spell as he sends it to hunt the Cat Imp down.
• Knightmare offers an open challenge to duel, and Ectar's fox form causes him to spin around and around until the Imp's own hypnotic axe clonks him on the head.
• Galadria and Virulina use their aquatic forms to corner Mysto underwater before turning human and taking him out with a sock to the jaw.
• Various Knights and Lords surround the shaggy Shaggy and set on him with a giant razor, giant scissors, and a giant brush.
• The remaining Knights and Lords throw a birthday party for Gorge, then easily lock him away after he overstuffs himself on a gigantic birthday cake.
• Merklynn casts a spell that is yet again deflected by Abraxas, only for it to be revealed as a self-capturing spell as the Imp is literally sacked.

Everyone gathers at the temple where the Imps are once again sealed away, and both the Lords and Knights reject Merklynn's promised rewards as they've had their fill of magic for the time being.

I love this episode. While there have been a few stories that suffered as a result of Flint Dille's tongue-in-cheek style of writing, this is not one of them as the characters stay true to themselves, even as they have to combat absurd foes with acts of equal absurdity. Maybe it went a little overboard with the gigantic scissors and razor, but I can't deny that it had me laughing my ass off. Same goes for the sight of Darkstorm dangled about in his bed clothes, or Leoric waking up from a hypnosis hangover in the middle of a pig pen, or the little "donk" sound you'd hear when Knightmare would tap people with his axe. It's funny. It's really, really funny. And my favorite exchange is this bit, where Dille uses the Knowledge staff to take a few jabs at the convoluted ingredient quests that Tony's complained about:

Arzon: "How do we subdue them?"

Knowledge: "Follow these instruction carefully. First, you collect a rare snorkleberry."

Cindarr: "A snorkleberry."

Knowledge: "Then, the hair of an orange cat and the tail of a stupid lizard."

Reekon: "There is no such thing as a stupid lizard!"

Knowledge: "Your totem animal will suffice for now."

Reekon: "DEFEND THY SELF!"

Darkstorm: "Reekon! Impale him later. First, we must hear what he has to say."

Knowledge: "Thank you. All right. Once you've acquired said items, bake them into a garlic meringue pie."

(everyone yammers in disbelief)

Leoric: "Garlic meringue pie! Then what do we do?"

Knowledge: (from chuckles to laughter) "Look at me... smile... smile... SMILE... WHILE I PIE YOU!!!"

(hurls a pie in Leoric's face)

Knowledge is, of course, being controlled by the Imps. Great twist. Great bit. Yet another winner for Dille. And the animation was really damn good as the characters were far more facially and physically expressive than usual, capturing the silliness without falling into full on cartoonery.

Sadly, this is the last televised outing for our Knight and Lords. At least we get the comfort of going out on the sight of Merklynn aiming a wink and a smile straight to the viewer as he buries away a plot threat that will now never have the need to linger on beyond this point.

---

Tony

Orson Welles once said, "Bring me some more goddamned doughnuts. With sprinkles!" He also said, “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” For Visionaries, the story stopped at Episode 13. Is it a happy one? Sort of. I mean, the good guys win and all that, but it's bittersweet to see a series this unique end after such a short run.

On its surface, Visionaries was your standard boys-toys cartoon with its blend of sword and sorcery and science-fiction, good vs. evil, and toy ready characters. But unlike other shows of the era, it held convention up to a funhouse mirror. The good guys weren't always right, the bad guys weren't always evil, and sometimes they had to work together for mutual advantage. There were shades of gray in its spectrum, which may account for why it's lacking the standard moral lesson at the end of each episode (until Noel and I provided it for them, that is).

Another way the show is different from its contemporaries: it's just plain funny. Sure, other cartoons of the era took stabs at humor, but they were often painfully unfunny. The risk here is that Visionaries isn't a comedy. There are still beasts to fell and quests to... questify... and there's a danger that all of the humor could undermine the drama - and it did in a few episodes - but that's not really a problem with this week's episode, because the Sun Imps are mischievous by nature. They're not dragons or trolls, they're more like gremlins. Their presence invites a certain amount of slapstick, which the episode is all too happy to provide.

"Dawn of the Sun Imps" does skate that edge, though. The bit where the Knights chase Shaggy around with a pair of scissors and a razor would almost be too camp for 70s-era Hanna-Barbera, let alone an 80s action-oriented series. But I can't deny that it's funny, and doing something well, even if it's out of character, is better than doing something mediocre in character.

As characters and a plot device, I really liked the Sun Imps. Like gremlins, goblins, brownies, and pucks, they were merry (and not so merry) pranksters straight out of mythology. And in spite of the silly shenanigans, you really do feel the menace of the Imps by the mounting chaos that their actions wrought. I also liked the look of the Imps, each being unique and fitting their personalities while still evoking the sun that gave them their power.

As a finale that's not a finale but is never the less a finale, "Dawn of the Sun Imps" captures many of the elements that made Visionaries so unique. And almost as if he knew something no one else did, Merklynn ends the episode by giving us a wink. True, this may have been Merklynn's way of saying that he finds us sexually attractive, and who could blame him, but I prefer to think it was more than mere irony or the sexual advances of a cartoon wizard. I believe it was a thank you and a goodbye. And, yes, quite possibly a sign that Merklynn wants to play "Hide the wand" with us.

---

It's time for our final "Now that's being a Visionary!" moment:

Rex: "Timmy, are you done with my homework, yet?"

Timmy: "Just finishing up the final essay, sir."

Rex: "Good. When you're done, I need you to pick up this week's issues from the comic shop, apply my foot fungal cream, and donate one of your kidney's to my uncle Ivan so he'll include me in his will."

Timmy: "I-- I guess I can do that. I-- "

Man's Voice: (off screen) "It time to muster up the mastery, my boy!"

Boys: (simultaneously) "Mortdredd!"

Mortdredd: "Timmy, you shouldn't let another boy have such a deep control over your life. Did Rex offer to split the inheritance with you in return for the kidney? I think not!"

Rex: "Why would I do that?"

Mortdredd: "Because Timmy is a human being! He's equally deserving of treatment and respect! Who do you think you are, child, Darkstorm? No man reaches his greatness. Why, if everyone would follow my example and dedicate themselves to the genius of his leadership, just imagine how prosperous and guided our world would be!"

Timmy: "But you don't understand, Mortdredd. Rex has given me access to his accounts, so once the inheritance is in place, I can run off with everything he owns."

Mortdredd: "Now that's being a Visionary!"

Rex: "Wait, what?"

---

Tune in next Saturday Morning when Tony takes us into the world of the Visionaries action figures.

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, episode 12 - "Sorcery Squared"

---

Tony

The Super Saturday Short-Lived Showcase returns after a three week absence while I mourned the loss of my mother to Cancer. Mom spent most of her life working as a waitress, but she was a writer at heart and I can't think of a better way to honor her than to get back to doing that which she loved so much.

Sorry about the grammar, Mom. God knows, you tried your best.



Pop quiz time. Cryotek is...

A.) The name of a fictional corporation in the Terminator series.

B.) A Transformer voiced by actor Jon Cryer.

C.) One of the Spectral Knights from Visionaries.

If you answered C, you're correct. And if you answered either A or B, I really wouldn't blame you. If the Darkling Lords are a wardrobe of colorful pants and outrageous coats, the Spectral Knights are a closet-full of gray suits virtually indistinguishable from one another. This week's episode, "Sorcery Squared", looks to change that a bit by putting the focus on one of the Knights.

Cryotek, eldest of the Spectral Knights, is frustrated by his inability to be more outgoing and interesting. After his two left feet and lack of social confidence create havoc at a party, fellow Knight Arzon tries to cheer him up by having him tag along on what appears to be a simple mission. They soon discover that things aren't so simple when they encounter the Darkling Lords up to no good. The two forces clash and things appear to go the Spectral Knights' way, until Cryotek is captured and taken prisoner by the Lords.

The Lords throw Cryotek into the Dagger Assault's Magic Extractor to strip him of his totem, but things don't go as planned when Cryotek manages to pull the ill-tempered Cravex in with him. The result is that Cryotek gains the power of Cravex's animal totem as well as his own, and Cravex is left without any magic. Grabbing Cindarr's Destruction Staff, Cryotek escapes and heads for home.

Back in New Valarak, Cryotek begins to exhibit some disturbing new behavior. Just as his friends' suspicions are aroused, Cryotek steals Witterquick's Lightspeed Staff and flees. Once again, the Spectral Knights and Darkling Lords are forced to work together to set things "right" as they follow Cryotek to his old home town of Northalia, where he now suffers from a rapidly fracturing personality. After nearly destroying the city, he makes a desperate run for Merklynn's lair to plead for the wizard's help.

Cryotek reaches Merklynn to find that the wizard is more interested in asking questions than offering immediate help. Now fully possessed by the competing personalities within him, Cryotek manages to recharge his Staffs and then makes for Darkstorm's castle. Cornered there by the tentatively allied Knights and Lords, a great battle ensues. But just as things appear to be at their darkest, Cryotek's love for Galadria shines through when he saves her from being smashed by a falling pillar. The Knights take this moment to capture Cryotek and put him back into the Magic Extractor. They're able to reverse the effects and return him to normal before escaping Darkstorm's castle and returning home, where Cryotek vows to remain his normal, "boring" self, much to the delight of his friends.

"Sorcery squared" covers some familiar ground with its "We like you just the way you are" (see "Feryl Steps Out") and reluctant team-up (see "Horn of Unicorn, Claw of Dragon") themes, but I found the slow deterioration of the rock solid Cryotek to be thoroughly compelling. Voice actor Bernard Erhard really sinks his teeth into the role as Cryotek gets to unleash quite a wave of destruction.

Overall, this episode deftly balances humor, action, and character development, and delivers one of the better outings of the series.

---

Noel

Doug Booth returns from the fumble that was "The Power of the Wise" for a damn good character piece that cleverly mixes pathos with rousing action.

While the Power Staffs are completely interchangeable and can be used by anyone, the animal Totems each Visionary possessed is deeply tied to who they are as an individual, so the idea of a mixup between two of them causing a shift in personality makes a lot of sense. And instead of simply having a good guy and a bad guy swap, which would be a perfectly acceptable if predictable Freaky Friday situation, they take it another step and put two in the body of one man, leading to some surprisingly freaky moments as Cryotek goes all schizo on people as he bounces from compassionate to psychotic.

And look at the power he wields, not only with both animal forms, but the collection of Power Staffs he pulls together before going off on his own. They cleverly sneak a recharge in the plot so he can cause maximum damage by unleashing the force of Destruction twice, first on his hometown, secondly on Darkstorm's castle. And, man, there's that amazing scene where he's shot in mid air and is plummeting to the ground. Is he screaming or flailing? No, he's laughing. He's confident and doesn't make an effort to save himself until after he gets a little payback for the shot that took him down. Chilling stuff from what's been a rather bland character to this point.

And it's great to see them bringing back Cryotek's romance with Galadria, which we haven't explored since way back in "The Dark Hand of Treachery". I love that, instead of pairing her with one of the younger, more dashing Knights, she's fallen for the clumsy but dependable gentle giant of the group. Their few scenes together are filled with so much warmth and sincerity, especially their final embrace at the end. Her painful line about wanting a "bear hug" aside.

There's a few problems with the episode. If you want to play up Cryotek's power hunger, why not have him gradually collect all the Staffs instead of just reusing the same three. Given the effect Cravex's totem is having on Cryotek, it's surprising that Cravex himself plays such a small roll in events. There's a bit where Cryotek flies one of the gliders, but he shouldn't be able to since he's a Staff wielder, meaning his magic won't power the machines. And I didn't know you could make an avalanche less dangerous by shooting it and turning it into a wall of water. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that'll still have the same weight and force behind it.

But these are small nitpicks. It's a great episode. I love the way the Knights are having to work together while at each other's throats, Witterquick throwing salt on a wound by smashing the Lords' Dagger Assault through Darkstorm's castle and sinking it into the moat is hilarious, it's very believable that even Merklynn has limits to his knowledge and he's unable to find a solution in time, and it's great to see Cryotek join the ranks of the few Knights to finally gain depth and distinction.

I'm really sad that we only have one episode left.

---

It's time for this week's "Now that's being a Visionary!" moment:

Vince: "So, Tommy, I hear your mom bought you some new toys."

Seymour: "Hand 'em over."

Tommy: "No. Every time you guys take my toys, you break them."

Vince: "Would you rather I break your nose?"

Man's Voice: (off screen) "HOW'S ABOUT YOU BREAK OFF THAT THREAT, PATHETIC CHILD!!!"

Boys: (simultaneously) "Cravex!"

Cravex: "TOMMY'S TOYS ARE HIS TO RUIN AND BY STEALING THAT VANDALIZING JOY FROM HIM, YOU DISRSPECT HIM AS A WARRIOR!!!"

Tommy: "But I'm not a warrior."

Cravex: "YOU SHALL SUFFER FOR THIS!!!"

(Cravex starts smashing Tommy's toys)

Seymour: "Now that's being a Visionary!"

---

Tune in next Saturday morning for the final episode of Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, "Dawn of the Sun Imps".

Visionaries: Knight of the Magical Light, episode 11 - "Honor Among Thieves"

---

Noel

"Dump the condiments! If we're to be eaten, we don't need to taste good!"

In return for doing such a splendid job on their latest quest on his behalf, Merklynn gives the Spectral Knights a gift in the form of the Crystal of Detection, which reveals all nearby enemies who are moving against you. Though Ectar has his reservations, the Crystal first proves itself when it uncovers a disguised jewel thief, then again when it prevents an invasion by the Darkling Lords before they can even make it into town.

The jewel's success is a mixed blessing as New Valarak's civilian representatives argue that, with the supreme security of the Crystal, funds should be stripped out of the defense budget and put towards the botanical garden they've been fighting for since Episode 7. Ectar tells them that automated security systems are no substitute for old fashioned police work. To illustrate this point, we flashback to the Age of Technology, where future Darkling Lord Reekon makes a living setting up security systems for banks, then using his own loopholes to rob the joints. He was only caught when supercop Ectar disguised himself as a mannequin of a pretty princess (really) and caught the thief red handed. Back in the present, the civilian reps vote in favor of the garden.

Off in his castle, Darkstorm learns that he needs a Cloak of Concealment in order to slip past the Crystal of Detection. He's stuck on where to find one, until a giant chicken dragon flies up to his window (really) and sets up a trade on behalf of his boss. A Cloak of Concealment in return for a wagon full of beef flanks, complete with condiments (barrels labelled "Ketchup", "Mustard", and "Steak Sauce" - really).

The Darkling Lords head off into the forest with their supply, and are quickly set upon by giant venus flytrap monsters. A fight is had, and it's ended when Darkstorm unleashes his Decay spell, whithering the plants to their deaths. Except for the final one, who holds up his leaves and shouts "STOP!" In a voice that's painfully ripping off Audrey II from The Little Shop of Horrors, the final plant reveals that he's the one who set up the deal through the talking chicken dragon. The Darkling Lords give him the meat and he points them off to a pile of clothing "rescued" from passers by. They find the Cloak of Concealment: a red polyester jacket with a pretentious designer symbol on the back. Really.

Reekon shows up at New Valarak. He's wearing the polyester jacket over his armor (bulging shoulder pieces and all), and just walks into the central castle, tucks the crystal under his arm, and walks away. Ectar spots him on the street and pursues in his animal form, but the city's own guards throw a net over the Knight when Reekon claims he's being attacked by a mad fox. Reekon slips past the last of the guards - which includes a morbidly obese man squeezed into his armor (really) - and makes his escape.

Reekon knows that it's Ectar's turn to play the thief, just as Ectar realizes Reekon is now the defender. They try to out-strategize one another, until Ectar uses Arzon as a distraction to slip into the tower where everyone bungles all over themselves. Arzon snatches the crystal and runs, and Ectar and Reekon have their final standoff. These two enemies stare one another down, weapons drawn... then share a laugh and decide to part ways, declaring the whole thing a draw. Their excuse? They need each other in order to define themselves. Really.

The Knights return the crystal to Merklynn, who apologetically explains that the crystal was created before polyester came into existence. He offers several other gifts to the Knights (I'd love that Magical Food Refresher), but they turn them down and instead leave him owing them a favor. Back at Darkstorm's castle, the Lords sit down for a meal. Cindarr looks down at his soup and shouts "Where's the beef!" Really. Cut to the giant plant monster as he munches down his steaks.

In the last episode, I expressed a hope that we'd learn more about the past between Ectar and Reekon, and see the old foes square off. This isn't what I had in mind. There is a shadow of a great episode in there as the two try to out-maneuver one another, even as they slip into each other's roles, and there is a great flashback to the Age of Technology, but everything else is nonsense.

Why did this story need a steak-craving giant venus fly trap who strikes a deal with the Darkling Lords through an envoy in the form of a talking chicken dragon? Why can the Lords only see one crime at a time when the Knights clearly saw a second threat (invasion) while the first (jewel thief) was still being dealt with? Who are the people that Darkstorm is using to play a game of human chess, and why does every single square on the board have a trap door that leads somewhere else? And how do the Lords suddenly forget which doors lead to where?

My biggest problem with this episode is that it felt like a big joke. This series has a sense of humor, yes, but this felt like even Flint Dille, the show's creator, was playing it so light by now that there's no point in taking anything seriously anymore. I mean, the entire plot hinges around a polyester jacket gag. Really. And worst of all was Ectar and Reekon, adversaries for years, simply waving away their final confrontation with a shrug and a laugh. Bullshit. It's an interesting idea for about a second, but then additional seconds allow you to realize it's not believable in the least, as further proven less than a year later when Alan Moore had Batman sit down and share a laugh with Joker in The Killing Joke. It just doesn't make any sense.

Now, in the show's favor, a lot of the comedy is really well written. The sudden utterance of "Where's the beef!" Ectar in a pretty pink princess dress. The condiments. Cravex falling through a trap door as he screams "YOU SHALL SUFFER FOR THIIIIIIIIIIIS!" The snooty civilian representatives working their way through a series of campaign slogans such as "Make gardens, not weapons!" or "More roses, less lances!" And, if I may share two of my favorite exchanges:

Ectar: "Arzon, I would be less than honest with you if I didn't tell you that I intend to use you as a lure for Darkstorm."

Arzon: "Happy to be of some use."

Ectar: "You'll be captured."

Arzon: "Fine."

Ectar: "Imprisoned. Maybe tortured."

Arzon: "Tell me something I didn't know."

Ectar: "Oh, to be young and foolish again."

And:

Darkstorm: "Three thousand gold pieces!?"

Meat Vendor: "Flanks are hard to come by nowadays."

Darkstorm: "Mortdredd, pay the man."

Mortdredd: "Yes, I-bu-bu-but... Well, I-I saved all my allowance for two years, Darkstorm, but it's not half enough."

Cindarr: "Me, Cindarr, broke."

Cravex: "If your last check to me had cleared, I might be able to help."

Virulina: "Sorry, Darkstorm. I'm still waiting for some blackmail money to come in."

Reekon: "I'm a mercenary, not a banker! Pay the man or I take off!"

In the end, this is an odd, uneven episode. There is a serious character piece buried in there somewhere, but it's lost in the gags and wordplay. And even though the humor is quite funny, it's almost too silly, to the point where the balance between genuine worldbuilding and tongue-in-cheek absurdity is tipping too far in favor of the absurdity.

Really.

---

Tony

Crystals make wonky McGuffins. Whether it's the eponymous Dark Crystal or the skull in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull or this week's Crystal of Detection, they're not bad ideas on the surface, but they seem to weave some sort of spell on the storytellers that causes them to fashion puppets that look like the as yet unborn Olsen Twins, hire Shia LaBeouf, or include a chicken-dragon that sounds like Cobra Commander. Not to mention, the show is starting to get a bit artifacty, to coin a word. Every week it's the "Cloak of" this, the "Scepter of" that, the "Pool of" whatever. I get that magical objects and such are part of the relationship both groups have with Merklynn, but it's dancing a bit too close to the cliché line, and that's something the series has managed to deftly avoid so far.

There are so many things that could've been awesome about this episode that aren't. I've been dying to learn more about the Age of Technology and would've been all for an entire flashback episode, or perhaps one that cuts back and forth, weaving two narratives into one. Instead, we get Ectar in a dress. I wasn't asking for Blade Runner, but I expected more than Mannequin.

There was potential for some real conflict, not to mention a dash of social debate, between the Spectral Knights and the citizens of New Valarak over the duties of the Government and the needs of the governed. What we get is one of those old Brady Bunch moments where the kids all start talking at once and Mr. Brady has to do that whole pinkies in the corner of the mouth whistle thing that I've never been able to master.

And, of course, there's the anticipated showdown between Ectar and Reekon that never comes. On the surface their nonfrontation (Get it? Nonfrontation?) seems to be consistent with the unconventional way the series deals with such matters, but there's no good story explanation for it. It feels totally out of character for Ectar and Reekon, and nothing in the episode gives us a reason to believe otherwise.

As Noel mentioned, Visionaries has thus far made terrific use of genuinely funny humor, but here it's heaped on a bit too thick and obvious, and it undermines any potential drama. I'm not saying it's not funny, but it feels out of synch with the plot.

Ultimately, this episode is an unholy marriage between the groom of missed potential and the bride of frivolity. The result: a wildly uneven offspring with the worst traits of both parents.

Let there be... list!

• This might be the first episode where Leoric doesn't have en epic fail moment. Good job, sir!
• And speaking of Leoric, how do the citizens of New Valarak keep getting such an easy audience with him? Do they even knock? It's like they're all Urkels and the Spectral Knights are the Winslows.
• Are they ever going to focus on either of the female knights?

---

It's time for this week's "Now that's being a Visionary!" moment:

Larry: "I can't believe all the homework we have. This'll take me all night."

Vinnie: "Not if we make someone else do it for us. Hey, Timmy! Come here. I got a job for you."

Man's Voice: (off screen) "I give that plan an F!"

Boy: (simultaneously) "Lexor!"

Vinnie: "But Timmy is the smartest kid in school."

Lexor: "And that's the problem, my boy. Your teacher would never believe his work was yours."

Larry: "Because we're...."

Lexor: "Too stupid. Aim lower and you're less likely to arouse your teacher's suspicions."

Vinnie: "Andy over there is a C student. And he's a slow runner!"

Lexor: "Now that's being a Visionary."

---

Tune in next Saturday Morning for another adventure of Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light in "Sorcery Squared".

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, episode 10 "Trail of the Three Wizards"

Tony

Evil wizards are on the loose! Prysmos is in danger! Who you gonna call? If you're Merklynn, it's Leoric and the Spectral Knights. God help us all.

The ever cantankerous Merklynn has summoned the Spectral Knights to his mountain lair to inform them that three potentially dangerous wizards have escaped from the Wizard's Jail, which is similar to non-wizard's jail, except instead of contraband like drugs and cigarettes, they have eye of newt and toe of frog. How do our virtuous champions of Prysmos react? In no uncertain terms, they tell the old conjurer to get bent.

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, episode 9 "Horn of Unicorn, Claw of Dragon"

Noel

New Valarak is struck with a plague that affects only magic users. Cryotek is the first to fall victim, and is quickly followed by Feryl, Ectar, and Galadria. Fletchen shows up again to nurse them with herbs and chicken soup, and a weakening Leoric sends warning to Witterquick and Arzon, who were outside the city on a hunting trip at the time. The two rush off to seek guidance from Merklynn.

They arrive at Iron Mountain to find Lexor and Cindarr, who are looking to cure the similarly affected Darkling Lords. Merklynn has been expecting this plague and the quests that both the Knights and Lords had been skipping out on were for the very items needed to cure it: the horn of a unicorn and the claw of a dragon. Having already had their fill of dragons a couple episodes back, the two Lords opt to go for the unicorn and the two parties go their separate ways.

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light, episode 8 "The Power of the Wise"

Tony

Leoric's stupidity has reached critical mass. I didn't want to do this, but after watching this week's episode, I feel as if I simply have no alternative.

"Leoric, I want you to meet your newest Spectral Knight, Admiral Akbar. Yes, I know he smells like tuna, but you'll be thanking me the next time you encounter the Darkling Lords. Why? Show him, Admiral."

"IT'S A TRAP!"

"You know you need this, man."

[The above conversation is purely fictional. In no way, shape, or form did I use Admiral Akbar and Leoric action figures to play that scene out. Nor did I have them hold hands and skip around like school girls. And I certainly didn't have Akbar give Leoric a back rub while Barry White music played in the background.]