Let’s face it, D’Compose and his grotesque cronies aren’t exactly your prototypical pitchmen, so it should come as no surprise that my research into Inhumanoids merchandising turned up little beyond the requisite toy line. In fact, the only non-toy I was able to find was a nifty looking coloring book. It’s hard to blame companies for not lining up to splash images of hideous mutants and heroes whose faces are obscured by masks on their products. Can you imagine hearing an announcer say "D’Compose-e-o’s are a part of this balanced breakfast!"? They were, however, very toyetic, and it’s here that this property truly shines.
Like their animated counterparts, the creatures are far more interesting than the humans, and proving that indeed the last shall be first, Tendril is the most impressive of the lot. Hasbro really nails each likeness, but Tendril looks as if he just slithered right out of the TV screen.
Animated Metlar looked a bit absurd, but plastic Metlar looks like “14 of demonic badassery.
Unfortunately, D’Compose doesn’t fair quite as well, his hips wide in a semi-squat pose that recalls the time I had to take a shit at Wal-Mart but they were out of those little paper thingies you put on the toilet seat.
Sadly, the line didn’t last long enough for them to produce Nightcrawler, Sslither, and Gagoyle figures. Also, oddly enough, they chose not to produce a Blackthorne Shore figure in the first wave.
The Earth Corps
With their colorful and bulky armor, the men of the Earth Corps also make for some nifty action figures. In an era dominated by Kenner’s Star Wars established 3 ¾” scale, these babies tower above the competition at a whopping 6" plus. Each figure also featured an “Action Power” (push a button or a lever and something moves or shoots) as well as a feature called “Glow in the Light”, which sounds the name of a Thomas Kinkade (God rest his one trick soul) painting.
Not surprisingly, the lone female member of the team didn’t get her own action figure in the first wave, but had the line continued, she certainly would have. The same was true when Hasbro released the figures for its Visionaries line the following year. Toy lines like G.I. Joe and Masters of the Universe produced figures of their female characters and, ironically, the same boys who were reluctant to buy them way back when *cough* me *cough* are now happily paying big bucks to scoop them up on the collector’s market.
Also immortalized in plastic were three of the Mutores, the coolest by far of which is Redlen. With his twisted features and clear green plastic eyes, he looks like those apple throwing trees in The Wizard of Oz after getting the Todd McFarlane treatment.
Magnokor is also pretty neat, with one side featuring Crygen and the other Pyre.
Granite fares less well, looking like a large wad of old bubblegum.
No play sets were produced, but they did make two vehicles: the Terrascout and Trappeur. The Terrascout is a little bland, but the Trappeur is quite large and packed with action features.
Sadly, there isn't much variety here, but I come away quite impressed by the toy line. Prices on the collector’s market remain reasonable, but prepare to pay a premium for the Inhumanoids themselves.
Tune in next Saturday when Noel takes a look at the Inhumanoids comic books.